So it’s been 4 months, or 16 weeks of “I don’t know what day it is because my baby didn’t let me sleep last night!”
It has been an adventure to say the least, it hasn’t been easy but I know it’s worth it. On the days I’m overwhelmed and feeling like I’m at my wits end because she constantly needs to see momma, I remember this; “for this child we have prayed”, and I change my perspective.
It doesn’t mean I stop having bad mommy days, I just remind myself to be gentle to myself. To ask for help from the people around me, to accept that maybe dirty dishes and laundry piles also mean happy kids because mom isn’t so damn stressed.
I remind myself that this little one won’t be a baby forever, and as much as I don’t want to admit it, she will also probably be my last baby. Which makes me sad but also helps me just to be present with the moment, the good, the bad the messy and the ugly, the smiles and the tears. (<<– tears are mostly mine!) The crazy thing is, she’s a good baby, it just sometimes gets overwhelming!
So if you see the cutesy baby pictures, if you see perfect staged photos, don’t feel bad momma! There’s also days where I’m changing messy diapers, with poop on my knee (don’t ask!) and can’t take a shower until 3 hours later!!
My oldest daughter also went back to school, and after a year of having her home, I miss her like crazy! The first 3 days was hard because I think Emi missed her too, she was fuzzy all day and only stopped after her sister came back from school. Her brother doesn’t want to admit it, but he definitely missed her! I caught him just staring into space with the tv off.
Check out my latest podcast episode for more on this topic!