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Relationships take work..

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The last month has been a stressful one in my marriage. It was nothing “serious” but I knew it was happening and things needed to be discussed.  My husband and I work together, raise two wonderful kids and also have our relationship to deal with it. I want to share this with you because social media as good as it is also has it flaws.  It makes us believe marriages are perfect and everyone has a fairy tale life.

With a busy work schedule and kids going back to school, it was an adjustment and we put our relationship in the back burner, which is never a good idea. We let little disagreements get to us and the resentment was building up but it was never discussed because we were in a mindset of “go, go, go”. I talk about this in my podcast but I was getting into a mindset of “why me, poor me” and blaming him for how I was feeling, and not taking full ownership about my feelings and my attitude. I wasn’t looking at the full picture.

I’m usually pretty good in getting myself out of it but after a few weeks, I didn’t like how I was feeling and how he was feeling. I needed to address the issue. It wasn’t a pretty discussion but it needed to happen and then BOOM. You feel like you can breathe again.

We both agreed to make a choice every morning to be HAPPY with each other. To go back to having date night and trying to have breakfast together at least twice a week. This helps us stay connected.

As a business owner, I realize the importance of staying connected with our customers and employees. On building better relationships so my clients and customers are happy.

Why aren’t we doing that with our marriage? We should treat every relationship in our lives with the same respect and effort. Marriage is work, every day. It’s waking up every morning and making the decision to love the other person regardless of their flaws, making the conscious decision to CHOOSE happiness.

 

Back to school chaos..

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The struggle is real for this mama! Having my oldest start middle school and my youngest first grade has been an emotional roller coaster for ME! They’re both smart, good kids and I know they will be okay, but this is the first year they’re in separate schools and my anxiety was seriously crazy.  It doesn’t help that their schedules are all over the place that now it has re-arranged my work schedule.

I really don’t mind that part because I enjoy and I’m extremely grateful to have the opportunity to drop them off and pick them up. But the first week is over and I think I did a pretty good job in not forgetting a kid. Don’t judge me, but last year I picked up my daughter 30 min late on HER FIRST DAY of kindergarten in a NEW school! I felt horrible and she had every right to guilt me into a Target toy spree!

I have also been guilt tripping myself on not being consistent with the blog or podcast. I try and justify it with “well yolanda, you are working in the office and have kids at home” but I hate starting stuff and not being consistent with it.

Using my 10x planner and also google calendar has helped me tremendously! What do you guys use to keep your mom and work duties on track?

 

Busy vs Productive

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In the lastest episode of “ Mom, Wife & Boss life” podcast,  I talk about my schedule and the difference between being productive versus being busy.

Don’t go to the office and multi-task just so at the end of the day you look at your to-do list and notice stuff got started but not completed.  As a working mom, I need to juggle my career, my household and family so I make sure I prioritize by making a schedule and a to-do list. I use my 10x planner from Grant Cardone and it has been a lifesaver!

I’m not a fan of apps on my phone because I will get distracted and use social media! Yes, I admit it! I will get sucked into it so I rather have a planner where I can physically write on and also look at my goals for the day/month.

Let me know what works for you! How do you plan your schedule and how do you manage your day with the family and kids?

 

My humans

 

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Being a mom is hard work, but being their mom makes it all worth it. Every decision I make, I make with them in mind.  When I had my humans, my husband and I made a conscious decision to prepare them for the real world by making them independent little human beings. I’m not going to lie, it was scary to think I would be raising them to be independent and that at one point they wouldn’t need their ”mama”.

My kids slept in their own room around 3/4 months of age (around the time they had a sleeping pattern). They were potty trained around 2 1/2 years old (it was easier to train my daughter and it was hard to be at home for two weeks to properly train them) but it was well worth it! They’re not picky eaters and they’re not vegetable lovers, but we did teach them to always try new things.

We taught them how to pick their own clothes and sometimes it might not match, but if they like it, I let it be. They started to have chores around the time they were 4 years old (age appropriate chores) and have learned the value of earning a dollar. They know about taxes, go into a store and buy their own things and even to cook their own food.

Seeing them grow into good humans makes my heart so happy. The fear is still there but I also know its my responsibilty to make them productive members of society. I know I will be comfortable letting them go out into the world when the time comes.

But as they get older, I learn that they will always need us. They will need mama when they have a tummy ache, they will need papa to teach them to drive a car.

To be honest with you, I probably need them more than they need me. Even in a room full of chaos when they’re fighting with each other, they keep me sane.

Be you. Do you.

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As I get older I realize how important it is not to take life so seriously. Have fun at work, have fun with family, have fun with friends. Have fun while doing life.

Have fun, be authentic and enjoy every minute of the present. Let’s enjoy the now and worry about the later, well, later.  We get caught with work and social life that sometimes we forget to LIVE.

BE YOU.DO YOU.

Busy bee guilt

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I’ve been feeling guilty because I haven’t been blogging or doing my “Mom, wife & Boss Life” podcast. But, I shouldn’t because I’ve been busy doing my new podcast called” The Unfiltered wife” and just trying to keep my two humans busy.

I’m super excited for you guys to listen to all these incredible stories of adversity and how they overcame their obstacles! These ladies are truly the definition of strong. I will be releasing it August 1st, so go sign up at www.theunfilteredwife.com  for updates!

 

What do you do on weekends?

Mom, wife & Boss Life Podcast

In the new podcast episode of “Mom,Wife & Boss Life” I talk about what people prioritize in the weekends. I was asked if my I get mad because my husband sometimes has to work on Holidays or weekends and that’s what inspired this topic.

I discuss that my family doesn’t start living life on the weekends and work doesn’t stop at 5pm on Friday’s. I believe the hustle never stops especially if you are running your own business.

Click on the link below let me know what you think of the episode!

MOM, WIFE & BOSS LIFE

 

 

Finding joy

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Since it’s summer break I have been spending A LOT of time with my kids, and one thing I have noticed about them is the joy they get for the small things.   When did we lose that as adults? My daughter wakes up to sunny skies and she’s ecstatic for the fun day she is going to have, my son gets super happy if our pet bird Sunny makes a noise that resembles a “hello”.  Why is that? Why is it that as adults we want big wins or absolutely nothing to go wrong for us to say we had a good day?

When my family and I go out for ice cream, I’m that mom that goes and gets a ton of napkins and starts hassling her kids about getting dirty BEFORE they get their cones.

Last week my husband and I took them for some ice cream and I decided to just enjoy the moment. To live in the present and not worry about the dirty clothes I would have to wash later. To find joy in the fact that all four of us were in a little ice cream shop in the bay area. Happy, healthy, and full of love. Messy faces and all.

That day I decided to redefine my joy.