Ask Yolie

Super excited to be starting this series! I had a couple questions but most of them didn’t want them on the blog. These two said it was fine.

 

Q1: Hi Yoli! I see your kids are a few years apart so I think you could help me with my situation. My son is 4 years old and I’am pregnant with my second boy, due in August. My son isn’t excited to be a big brother. Help!

A1: Congratulations on your pregnancy! My kids are 6 yrs apart and my son would be in love with the idea of a baby  in the house and the next day he would say he would flush her down the toilet if she cried. AHHHHH!  I recommend you include him on things for the new baby so he’s excited for his brother’s arrival. Have him pick out babies first outfit (give him three choices),  have him help set up the crib or stroller. I would tell my son that my daughter would kick in my tummy and she wouldn’t stop unless he sang a song to her. I wanted him to feel included and know that he was a big help in raising the baby. Good luck mama! You got this!

 

Q2: I want to start an online business but I’m scared. I have three kids, all of them in elementary and my husband works evenings. My evenings are packed with sport activities and my mornings consist of housework and spending time with my husband. 

A2:  Starting a business can be scary! Especially when you have many roles to fulfill, but don’t worry! There’s a lot of successful women around us, which shows us it’s possible! There are a few things you need to do, start of by documenting your schedule, NO, not what you SAY you are going to do, or what you THINK you do, what you actually do. From the time you get up to the time you go to sleep. Do that for 3 days. Once you’re done, look at your days and figure out what can be outsourced, extra chores for the kids, online grocery shopping, a more structured schedule? Early mornings or late nights for you? While the kids are busy with sports, can you work from your laptop? The key to this is to prioritize your time and multi-task. Giving yourself a full hour a day IS possible, you just have to stop making excuses and go for it. <— It sounds harsh but its true! You won’t know what works for you if you don’t start.

 

Protecting your energy

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As you know,  I have been doing a lot of self-care and self healing for the past two years but really have focused on emotional and mental well-being the last year.

What have I learned about myself? That I love people too hard, that I care a lot about other people and their happiness. For all those reasons, sometimes I can come as cold and hard. I guess that’s just me knowing the potential and seeing the good in people before they see it in themselves, and getting disappointed when they quit on themselves.

You probably remember this from a few post back but the main take away is this:   “It is not your job to show others the lessons they need to learn.”

I’m not perfect and I don’t claim to be or expect the people around me to be perfect. I do expect them to always be a work in progress, always learning, to keep an open mind and don’t accept shitty circumstances.

I also learned that once you start to self-heal that you need to protect your energy.  I have worked so hard on overcoming childhood trauma, anxiety attacks and depression that I’m very limited with the people that I let in my life.

Don’t be ashamed to distance yourself from the people that bring out the bad in you,  and letting them know right know you are working on yourself. Look at your immediate circle, look at your social media “friends” or accounts you follow. Are they bringing you good energy?Are they good people?

The people that love you will understand you and if they don’t get a new circle.

 

 

You messed up?

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It’s okay to fall off track, it’s ok to feel overwhelmed, it’s ok to have a bad day…

But you know what is NOT ok?

To stay there!

To stay in a moment of weakness, to stay in  a bad mood, to stay unhappy, to stay in that “poor me’ mentality.

Chin up, breathe… and KEEP GOING!!!

Myra Perez Fitme challenge

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I’m super excited to start Myra Perez’s fitme challenge next week!

Let me tell you why, I have always struggled with my weight and let me be honest, it hasn’t bothered me as much as it should. I made excuses for it and just lied to myself that it was what it was.

My weight started going up once I got diagnosed with papillary thyroid cancer at 17 yrs old, then I had my son 3 years later. I kept fluctuating in weight after birth. We were trying to have a second baby for 2 years, when we realized our weight was probably the reason why I wasn’t getting pregnant.

I remember watching a documentary about junk food and decided at that moment to start my journey to healthy living. After no fast food and juicing for a few days a week, I was pregnant within 4 months!

After having my daughter via C-section, I decided to continue my journey and joined a gym. I attended for about a year and I lost a lot of weight, but once again, I made the excuse that my daughter was no longer entertained long enough for me to complete my work-outs.

Now, 6 years laters, I’m ready for a change.  I join gyms for a few weeks but as soon as it gets hard (scheduling, workouts, work/mom duties) I make excuses and quit.

These last couple of months, I have been soul searching and just learning that I will always be a woman in progress.  If I mess up, it’s ok to say  “I fucked up” and keep going, just don’t quit!

My motivation? I want to be there for my kids when they get married, I want to be healthy for my grandchildren. I only have so many summers with them before they’re adults and I want to enjoy them being the best version of myself.

Good luck fellow Fitme challenge participants! Si se puede!

 

Do you ever question your parenting?

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Do you ever feel guilty as a mom and start questioning yourself? Am I doing enough? Spoiling them? Am I spending enough time with them?

Well, you’re not alone! I use to do this all the time, feel shitty about my parenting and just be an overbearing parent or buy their love with gifts. But a couple of months ago I decided to tackle it another way. I first started by taking care of my well being and my emotional state of mind so they can have a better mom. I then asked them what they needed of me, because yes, I know they need to be fed, clean clothes and reminded to take a bath (several times a week!) but what did they WANT from me.

My son stated he liked movie night but also wanted to watch movies/shows that were not appropriate for his 6 year old sister but appropriate for a 12 yr old. He also said he wanted to work out with his dad like they used to, and to go grocery shopping with me and pick out spices for a meal he would like to cook for us on the weekends (he would like to have a restaurant when he’s older).

My daughter on the other hand, gave me a LONG list that I had to ask her to drop it to 3 things that truly were special for her. She said, do our nails, paint a picture and go shopping, just her and I.

We are starting this weekend and I couldn’t be more excited! We agreed to have more open conversations about what we need from each other, and I was thrilled to see my daughter a few days later TALK (not scream or cry) to her brother and ask if he could play with her for 5 minutes.

I will talk more about this in next weeks podcast but I wanted to let you all know, as I was excited on how open dialogue was helping our family.

 

 

 

32 things I learned by my 32nd birthday

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32. You will survive your first heartbreak

31. Ice cream, fries, The Notebook and a shoulder to cry is the best therapy for break-ups (or any situation, really!)

30. Don’t lose your identity when loving someone else

29. There’s never a “right time” for anything

28. Take responsibility for your actions, for your emotions 

27. Fly babygirl.. travel as much as possible. 

26. Not everyone is meant to stay in your life forever

25. Quality over quantity in all aspects of life (friendships, bags, time)

24. Trust God’s timing

23. Step out of your comfort zone (you will love yourself for it)

22. Sometimes things need to fall apart so better things can come together

21. Be compassionate 

20. It’s not your job to show others the lessons they need to learn

19. Don’t ever forget your love for books

18. All relationships are hard work but only a few are worth it

17. Enjoy the journey

16. Give back – ALWAYS!

15. Family – Can’t live with them, can’t live without them

14. Even when you don’t have a reason to smile, SMILE

13. You will find your faith

12. Don’t ever lower your expectations for anyone

11. Spend your money on experiences, not things

10. You will always be a work in progress, that is OKAY AND A GOOD THING!

9.  You don’t have to be stuck at a job you don’t like

8. Don’t be afraid to speak up in a room full of people that might not agree with you

7. Arguments can be good for the soul

6.  You are not a product of your environment/childhood

5.  Live your life in a way that inspires others

4. You can be your worst critic, don’t be so hard on yourself Princess!

3. Worrying about things won’t change a damn thing

2. When in doubt, pray

1.  Always choose love

Happy 32nd birthday to me! Yes, I’m a Christmas baby!