Overwhelmed with life

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The last 3 weeks have been a physical, mental and emotional roller coaster for me. Let me tell you why, my husband and I weren’t on the same page and instead of sitting down and communicating our needs like we usually do, we kept playing the blame/victim game and shutting each other out instead of reaching out and LISTENING.

While that was going on, I had to focus on work and keep studying for a big test I have at the end of the month, and also start packing for our move. We moved into a new place after moving to the East bay almost 2 years ago. I also had to deal with end of the year school activities, which are time consuming.

All this was manifesting on my body and mental state of mind, I was getting headaches, I was emotionally drained and my joints hurt.

I couldn’t handle it anymore and I decided to tackle every issue head on, starting with my marriage. I’m happy to report we are back on track and improving our communication skills, we sometimes get complacent with life and forget each other’s needs. I FINALLY finished moving yesterday and I also signed up to the gym to get back on track with my physical transformation.

Now that is in order, my head is clear and I can focus on work and on studying, because let’s be honest, if my family  isn’t in order then I can’t focus on ANYTHING.

 

Why, do I have the need to tell you this? Because it’s OKAY! Life is not always rainbows and unicorns and definitely not what social media portrays.  It’s okay to feel stressed and overwhelmed, but always remember “this too shall pass” BUT you have to take control of the situation.   Now lets get that mindset back on track and tackle a new week!!

Have a blessed day!

Ask Yolie: Week 2

Don’t forget to submit your questions and I’ll answer them on Wednesdays.

 

Q3: I started my business a few months ago but it’s hard to celebrate any accomplishments when my husband isn’t supportive. He doesn’t say negative things but he also doesn’t congratulate me or ask how my business is doing. What should I do?

A3: Mujer, congratulations on starting your business! I don’t know the dynamic of your relationship or your husbands character. But I do have all these questions, was he always the bread winner? Is he normally quiet and doesn’t express his feelings? Is he busy in his career, or stressed on his own projects?

Regardless of the situation, you SHOULD celebrate milestones in your business! Find yourself a tribe of people that are willing to uplift and motivate you. THIS is crucial in being an entrepreneur, surrounding yourself with like minded people. Unfortunately, we sometimes don’t get the support from friends or family. I would also suggest talking to your spouse, communication is key in any relationship! Opening up about your emotions might help him open up about his feelings.

Protecting your energy

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As you know,  I have been doing a lot of self-care and self healing for the past two years but really have focused on emotional and mental well-being the last year.

What have I learned about myself? That I love people too hard, that I care a lot about other people and their happiness. For all those reasons, sometimes I can come as cold and hard. I guess that’s just me knowing the potential and seeing the good in people before they see it in themselves, and getting disappointed when they quit on themselves.

You probably remember this from a few post back but the main take away is this:   “It is not your job to show others the lessons they need to learn.”

I’m not perfect and I don’t claim to be or expect the people around me to be perfect. I do expect them to always be a work in progress, always learning, to keep an open mind and don’t accept shitty circumstances.

I also learned that once you start to self-heal that you need to protect your energy.  I have worked so hard on overcoming childhood trauma, anxiety attacks and depression that I’m very limited with the people that I let in my life.

Don’t be ashamed to distance yourself from the people that bring out the bad in you,  and letting them know right know you are working on yourself. Look at your immediate circle, look at your social media “friends” or accounts you follow. Are they bringing you good energy?Are they good people?

The people that love you will understand you and if they don’t get a new circle.

 

 

Ask Yolie: Week 1

Super excited to be starting this series! I had a couple questions but most of them didn’t want them on the blog. These two said it was fine.

 

Q1: Hi Yoli! I see your kids are a few years apart so I think you could help me with my situation. My son is 4 years old and I’am pregnant with my second boy, due in August. My son isn’t excited to be a big brother. Help!

A1: Congratulations on your pregnancy! My kids are 6 yrs apart and my son would be in love with the idea of a baby  in the house and the next day he would say he would flush her down the toilet if she cried. AHHHHH!  I recommend you include him on things for the new baby so he’s excited for his brother’s arrival. Have him pick out babies first outfit (give him three choices),  have him help set up the crib or stroller. I would tell my son that my daughter would kick in my tummy and she wouldn’t stop unless he sang a song to her. I wanted him to feel included and know that he was a big help in raising the baby. Good luck mama! You got this!

 

Q2: I want to start an online business but I’m scared. I have three kids, all of them in elementary and my husband works evenings. My evenings are packed with sport activities and my mornings consist of housework and spending time with my husband. 

A2:  Starting a business can be scary! Especially when you have many roles to fulfill, but don’t worry! There’s a lot of successful women around us, which shows us it’s possible! There are a few things you need to do, start of by documenting your schedule, NO, not what you SAY you are going to do, or what you THINK you do, what you actually do. From the time you get up to the time you go to sleep. Do that for 3 days. Once you’re done, look at your days and figure out what can be outsourced, extra chores for the kids, online grocery shopping, a more structured schedule? Early mornings or late nights for you? While the kids are busy with sports, can you work from your laptop? The key to this is to prioritize your time and multi-task. Giving yourself a full hour a day IS possible, you just have to stop making excuses and go for it. <— It sounds harsh but its true! You won’t know what works for you if you don’t start.

 

New things on the horizon

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New podcast logo…new website design! Super excited to be able to move forward and be more involved and interact with all of you!

I truly appreciate all the support you guys give me! I’m going to be integrating a new section on my blog where you can ask me questions regarding business, marriage, motherhood, ANYTHING and it will be confidential. I will answer two questions a week via blog or IG live.

I’m having a hard time picking a name for my new column. HELP!

Should I call it: Life with Yolie

or  simple:  Ask Yolie

 

Let me know below!

Have you checked it out?

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It is the fourth day of 2019 and I want to ask you, have you checked out my podcast? I dropped 4 new episodes the last days of 2018. If you enjoy my blog, my podcast I would ABSOLUTELY love if you could leave me a review in whatever platform you use to listen to podcast. I will truly appreciate it and love you forever!!

You can search Mom, Wife & Boss life or visit www.momwifeandbosslife.com and click on podcast!

 

Thank you!!!

Relationships take work..

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The last month has been a stressful one in my marriage. It was nothing “serious” but I knew it was happening and things needed to be discussed.  My husband and I work together, raise two wonderful kids and also have our relationship to deal with it. I want to share this with you because social media as good as it is also has it flaws.  It makes us believe marriages are perfect and everyone has a fairy tale life.

With a busy work schedule and kids going back to school, it was an adjustment and we put our relationship in the back burner, which is never a good idea. We let little disagreements get to us and the resentment was building up but it was never discussed because we were in a mindset of “go, go, go”. I talk about this in my podcast but I was getting into a mindset of “why me, poor me” and blaming him for how I was feeling, and not taking full ownership about my feelings and my attitude. I wasn’t looking at the full picture.

I’m usually pretty good in getting myself out of it but after a few weeks, I didn’t like how I was feeling and how he was feeling. I needed to address the issue. It wasn’t a pretty discussion but it needed to happen and then BOOM. You feel like you can breathe again.

We both agreed to make a choice every morning to be HAPPY with each other. To go back to having date night and trying to have breakfast together at least twice a week. This helps us stay connected.

As a business owner, I realize the importance of staying connected with our customers and employees. On building better relationships so my clients and customers are happy.

Why aren’t we doing that with our marriage? We should treat every relationship in our lives with the same respect and effort. Marriage is work, every day. It’s waking up every morning and making the decision to love the other person regardless of their flaws, making the conscious decision to CHOOSE happiness.