Overwhelmed with life

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The last 3 weeks have been a physical, mental and emotional roller coaster for me. Let me tell you why, my husband and I weren’t on the same page and instead of sitting down and communicating our needs like we usually do, we kept playing the blame/victim game and shutting each other out instead of reaching out and LISTENING.

While that was going on, I had to focus on work and keep studying for a big test I have at the end of the month, and also start packing for our move. We moved into a new place after moving to the East bay almost 2 years ago. I also had to deal with end of the year school activities, which are time consuming.

All this was manifesting on my body and mental state of mind, I was getting headaches, I was emotionally drained and my joints hurt.

I couldn’t handle it anymore and I decided to tackle every issue head on, starting with my marriage. I’m happy to report we are back on track and improving our communication skills, we sometimes get complacent with life and forget each other’s needs. I FINALLY finished moving yesterday and I also signed up to the gym to get back on track with my physical transformation.

Now that is in order, my head is clear and I can focus on work and on studying, because let’s be honest, if my family  isn’t in order then I can’t focus on ANYTHING.

 

Why, do I have the need to tell you this? Because it’s OKAY! Life is not always rainbows and unicorns and definitely not what social media portrays.  It’s okay to feel stressed and overwhelmed, but always remember “this too shall pass” BUT you have to take control of the situation.   Now lets get that mindset back on track and tackle a new week!!

Have a blessed day!

Protecting your energy

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As you know,  I have been doing a lot of self-care and self healing for the past two years but really have focused on emotional and mental well-being the last year.

What have I learned about myself? That I love people too hard, that I care a lot about other people and their happiness. For all those reasons, sometimes I can come as cold and hard. I guess that’s just me knowing the potential and seeing the good in people before they see it in themselves, and getting disappointed when they quit on themselves.

You probably remember this from a few post back but the main take away is this:   “It is not your job to show others the lessons they need to learn.”

I’m not perfect and I don’t claim to be or expect the people around me to be perfect. I do expect them to always be a work in progress, always learning, to keep an open mind and don’t accept shitty circumstances.

I also learned that once you start to self-heal that you need to protect your energy.  I have worked so hard on overcoming childhood trauma, anxiety attacks and depression that I’m very limited with the people that I let in my life.

Don’t be ashamed to distance yourself from the people that bring out the bad in you,  and letting them know right know you are working on yourself. Look at your immediate circle, look at your social media “friends” or accounts you follow. Are they bringing you good energy?Are they good people?

The people that love you will understand you and if they don’t get a new circle.

 

 

32 things I learned by my 32nd birthday

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32. You will survive your first heartbreak

31. Ice cream, fries, The Notebook and a shoulder to cry is the best therapy for break-ups (or any situation, really!)

30. Don’t lose your identity when loving someone else

29. There’s never a “right time” for anything

28. Take responsibility for your actions, for your emotions 

27. Fly babygirl.. travel as much as possible. 

26. Not everyone is meant to stay in your life forever

25. Quality over quantity in all aspects of life (friendships, bags, time)

24. Trust God’s timing

23. Step out of your comfort zone (you will love yourself for it)

22. Sometimes things need to fall apart so better things can come together

21. Be compassionate 

20. It’s not your job to show others the lessons they need to learn

19. Don’t ever forget your love for books

18. All relationships are hard work but only a few are worth it

17. Enjoy the journey

16. Give back – ALWAYS!

15. Family – Can’t live with them, can’t live without them

14. Even when you don’t have a reason to smile, SMILE

13. You will find your faith

12. Don’t ever lower your expectations for anyone

11. Spend your money on experiences, not things

10. You will always be a work in progress, that is OKAY AND A GOOD THING!

9.  You don’t have to be stuck at a job you don’t like

8. Don’t be afraid to speak up in a room full of people that might not agree with you

7. Arguments can be good for the soul

6.  You are not a product of your environment/childhood

5.  Live your life in a way that inspires others

4. You can be your worst critic, don’t be so hard on yourself Princess!

3. Worrying about things won’t change a damn thing

2. When in doubt, pray

1.  Always choose love

Happy 32nd birthday to me! Yes, I’m a Christmas baby! 

Relationships take work..

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The last month has been a stressful one in my marriage. It was nothing “serious” but I knew it was happening and things needed to be discussed.  My husband and I work together, raise two wonderful kids and also have our relationship to deal with it. I want to share this with you because social media as good as it is also has it flaws.  It makes us believe marriages are perfect and everyone has a fairy tale life.

With a busy work schedule and kids going back to school, it was an adjustment and we put our relationship in the back burner, which is never a good idea. We let little disagreements get to us and the resentment was building up but it was never discussed because we were in a mindset of “go, go, go”. I talk about this in my podcast but I was getting into a mindset of “why me, poor me” and blaming him for how I was feeling, and not taking full ownership about my feelings and my attitude. I wasn’t looking at the full picture.

I’m usually pretty good in getting myself out of it but after a few weeks, I didn’t like how I was feeling and how he was feeling. I needed to address the issue. It wasn’t a pretty discussion but it needed to happen and then BOOM. You feel like you can breathe again.

We both agreed to make a choice every morning to be HAPPY with each other. To go back to having date night and trying to have breakfast together at least twice a week. This helps us stay connected.

As a business owner, I realize the importance of staying connected with our customers and employees. On building better relationships so my clients and customers are happy.

Why aren’t we doing that with our marriage? We should treat every relationship in our lives with the same respect and effort. Marriage is work, every day. It’s waking up every morning and making the decision to love the other person regardless of their flaws, making the conscious decision to CHOOSE happiness.

 

Back to school chaos..

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The struggle is real for this mama! Having my oldest start middle school and my youngest first grade has been an emotional roller coaster for ME! They’re both smart, good kids and I know they will be okay, but this is the first year they’re in separate schools and my anxiety was seriously crazy.  It doesn’t help that their schedules are all over the place that now it has re-arranged my work schedule.

I really don’t mind that part because I enjoy and I’m extremely grateful to have the opportunity to drop them off and pick them up. But the first week is over and I think I did a pretty good job in not forgetting a kid. Don’t judge me, but last year I picked up my daughter 30 min late on HER FIRST DAY of kindergarten in a NEW school! I felt horrible and she had every right to guilt me into a Target toy spree!

I have also been guilt tripping myself on not being consistent with the blog or podcast. I try and justify it with “well yolanda, you are working in the office and have kids at home” but I hate starting stuff and not being consistent with it.

Using my 10x planner and also google calendar has helped me tremendously! What do you guys use to keep your mom and work duties on track?

 

Successful woman

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I just stared reading Lori Harders book “A Tribe called Bliss” and it’s a must read for females! I will give you guys the full review once I finish it but I can already tell it’s a good one by what I have already read.

Marriage

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Marriage is all about choices..

Let me explain, my husband and I have been spending less time together because of his work schedule and since kids are out of school, I’m the primary caretaker. So life can sometimes be a struggle for us, for example, I would like to spend more time outside of “work mode” but I try my best not to nag him about it because the business is a priority for both us.

So when we do spend time together I try to make it of quality vs quantity. That’s sometimes hard to do because, as any other couple, we  have disagreements.

That’s where choices come in, I can try and argue my point  or I can let it go and enjoy the moment. This used to be hard for me, I HAD to win an argument. Now, I just let it go. I’am human and sometimes will snap at him but I will quickly realize my tone of voice and apologize and let it go.

Yes, ladies, I will apologize even if I’m not in the wrong!!! WHY WOULD I DO THAT, RIGHT? Well, at the end of the day I want him to enjoy his downtime. He has to deal with so much at work, I don’t want him distracted with our fights. Don’t get confused,  I do pick my battles! Marriage, like life is all about choices.

As I write this, I’m drinking a glass of Stella Rose while he watches Casino for the 100th time. I would like to go to furniture shopping but I know he hates it and I know I’ll be annoyed at his attitude, so I rather go by myself and enjoy this moment with him. He does it for me too, he’s not much of a reader so when we go to Barnes and Nobles and stay there for a few hours, I know his smile is forced but I appreciate him just being there.

Choices ladies…CHOICES!